I am not there, I did not die....

“Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.”

Mary Elizabeth Frye

It feels so nice to finally feel the warm sun on my face and to enjoy the blue bright sky all day long. It is amazing, automatically the weight on my shoulders got so much easier to carry. The sun is the best remedy after all, or maybe it´s the culmination of all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life – some of which came has a nice surprise. Ultimately it doesn´t matter what or who, just that I feel good! Damn I haven´t felt good for so so long, I can´t remember the last time I was at peace like this… A good 2 years or so…. Life is funny that way.

I was, for the billion time, thinking that I am an awful person for feeling good when I know there is a person that I love that has died, obviously I can´t be happy knowing it isn´t fair that I am here happy and he isn´t. Once in a while this poem comforts me, because this is how I feel about death and how I would like for people to feel when I am gone as well. Death is just a part of life and even though the “body” isn´t here anymore, the essence or soul, lives in us and it always will. The gift my dad gave me is in everything I do and in all I am, my life has a new meaning now I know how much family means to me, and they are all I need. I should appreciate life more - life is for the living, I know that but it still hurts so much! – I know he would like for me to have a wonderful happy and fulfilled life, because he knows I love him eternally.

I just wanted to leave this poem for you today... for you to think a little about it.. sometimes we need to.